Archive for the ‘Not a Fan of…’ Category

BuzzFeed: Shark Jumper.

January 23, 2009

Alternate titles:
Buzzfeed: R.I.P.  whenever – today
Buzzfeed: Torrent Tracker and Recycled Links of 2006’s Hottest Viral Videos

fonzie_jumps_the_shark

But fucking seriously folks, Scott Lamb should be fucking ashamed of himself.  The site that used to be about finding your new favorite thing, is now about stupidity and stealing movies.  Lamb’s latest post is a link to various torrents of the films nominated for the Academy Awards.  Wait, this dude didn’t even do that; he linked to fucking google searches of “titleofmovie+torrent.”  I couldn’t make this shit up.

Listen, I really used to like this site.  I used to contribute all the time, but it deteriorated into making up backlash for things that no reasonable person would dislike (only bitter ass bloggers) and reposting old viral videos.  And as soon as they let the flood gates open, you know, the Raw Feed, there was just a shit ton of spam anyway.  And how does that K.L. May guy get to keep an account?

Oh, and the fucking badge system, don’t get me started.” LOL”, “Viral!”, “Reddit”, “WTF?”…I thought you were better than that.

I’m not the best blogger, writer, whatever out there; I’m mediocre at best, but do you see any links to The Pirate Bay on this little page? Nope.  i may get about 20 hits a day, and 15 of those may go to a (mostly) plagiarized drinking game from the election, but at least I know where I stand.

This might invite some backlash, or it could go ignored, but I just want the old BuzzFeed back.

Writing a word and then putting backlash and a question mark is good for no one.

Related posts:

The Backlash Backlash?

lol

Things not to say to your ex-boyfriend:

January 18, 2009

“So I was hanging out with this dude and this other person showed up, so we decided to make up a rumor that we all fucked.  You know, because law school is like high school.”

Racism: Still Alive and Kicking in Northern New Jersey

October 17, 2008

I am far from ultra-sensitive about race.  I find it to be one of the funnier things about people, and one of the easiest to mock.  I’ve heard the jokes about black men not being able to get cabs and remember the time when Danny Glover couldn’t get one, but I had never personally witnessed it until last night.

This is a copy of an email I sent to Jersey City Code Enfocement:

Hello #####,

As per our earlier conversation, I witnessed events at the cab stand at Journal Square in Jersey City that suggest to me that certain cab drivers may be refusing passengers based on race.

My girlfriend and I were lined up to take a cab home from the station (we live on Carlton, in the Heights district).  While the line turned into a bit of a cluster, the black gentleman two places ahead of us in line was refused by three different cabs, including #30, the one that picked us up.  I asked that the driver take the young man too, because he was also going to the Heights, but he declined, citing that he may get a ticket.

I understand that without direction from an official, cabs aren’t supposed to take on multiple fares, but several cabs were doing it.  And again, empty cabs were refusing to take this man, but accepting other fares.  The man was in his mid twenties and was wearing a yellow sweatshirt.

If it is possible to have an investigation opened to look into possible occurrences of racism at the cab stand, I would like that very much as my girlfriend and I found this event very troubling.  I look forward to hearing back from someone in your office regarding this issue.

Thank you,

Jon Anderson

This is two-thousand fucking eight and this shit still happens on a regular basis?  What a place we live in.

The Backlash Backlash?

September 30, 2008
Geordi LaForge had his back lashed, are you happy internets?

Geordi LaForge had his back lashed, are you happy internets? All he wanted to do was host Reading Rainbow.

That is not a typo folks.  I am leading the drive to lash back at backlash, though I suppose technically it never lashed me in the first place…yet.  For me, this is a preemptive strike against a backlashing.  And this time we’ll find those WMDs.

One of the most popular ways bloggers seem to be generating buzz is to grab something likable, for example bunny rabbits with big round eyes, and hating it.  Then they get their buddies to do it too, so they all conform to the bullshit hipster “non-conformity.”  On a site like BuzzFeed, they gather it up and present it as a trend.  This is the same thing the stockbrokers in Boiler Room did: they created their own hype, their own buzz, their own inflated stock price.

Do a search for backlash on BuzzFeed. 93 hits and counting.  Who will you find there?  People like Zooey Deschanel, Michael Cera, Tina Fey, and Daniel Day Lewis.  I call bullshit.  Tell me what is wrong with any of them.  I dare you.  What?  Is Tina Fey too funny (and hot IMO)?  Is Michael Cera too awkwardly charming?  Is Zooey Deschanel not the most adorable fucking thing ever?  Is Daniel Day Lewis too good of an actor?

Fuck you backlash machine.  You fake buzz generating succubus.

Everytime you buy into some bullshit internet anti-hype, a blogger kills a bunny.

Everytime you buy into some bullshit internet anti-hype, a blogger kills a bunny.

Go to the gallery for pictures of more stuff bloggers would pick on needlessly, given the chance.

September 11, Woo-Hoo, where were you?

September 11, 2008

Don’t answer that, because I do not fucking care. I can’t count the number of times in the past several years when normal conversations spiral into a “I was doing this and this on 9/11, blah, blah, fuckity blah.” What possible significance could it be that you were in Home Room when the second tower came down? If you were in one of the towers when it started to come down, I’d say you get a pass, because that is some harrowing shit.

I detest how 9/11 is used nowadays. People criticized the RNC 9/11 tribute video, and rightly so. But you have no idea how many times I’ve had to sit through that fucking drivel with a Toby Keith song going in the background, all under the guise of a motivational, pro-military, or pro-soldier video. Despite hard evidence to the contrary, many people, not just John McBush (skip to the 7th paragraph if you’re lazy), and especially in the military, still believe in some link between Iraq and the attacks on U.S. soil.

It absolutely sickens me that U.S. foreign policy adopted a get-them-before-they-get attitude, but to take on that paranoid bully attitude without justification and with falsified intelligence is fucking DISGUSTING! Just thinking about it makes my stomach turn, the number of funerals I’ve been to that are the result of lies.

So, yeah, there’s my 9/11 rant. Nothing that hasn’t been said before, but please don’t vote for four more years of this crap, I don’t know if I can take it.

Dude, if you have a goatee…

September 10, 2008

You’re an asshole.  Check that, you are an Asshole.  Sorry, I just had to capitalize that right quick.

Case in point, check out this fuckwad, his cunt wife, and their window-licking baby adorable son:

(Shit, I could go off on a whole other tangent about old ladies having babies and how irresponsible that is given the increased risk of whatever and stuff.  Not that that sounds ignorant or anything, I would never question someone’s reproductive rights, just their reproductive choices.)

And Brant, if for whatever reason you’re reading this, I’m sorry dude.  Someone had to tell you, the dream is over, goatees are not and will never be cool.

Does my hate of the goatee spawn from some deep jealousy due to the fact that I am a 25-year-old male who cannot grow a moustache? No, and fuck you Dr. Phil.

Coming tomorrow:  Scarf in summertime? I hope you get raped by a fire hydrant.

Post Script: Check out this piece of awfulness: GoateeSaver.  Old news, I know, but fuck me if that shit isn’t still fantastically god awful.